GUIDING PRINCIPLES

Whether you're buying a hot dog for a buck and a quarter to eat on the run or a multi-course meal in a white tablecloth, fine dining establishment at $75 per person, you deserve value for your dollar.

That dog better be meaty, properly cooked and served on a fresh bun with the fixings the way you like them. At that price, ambiance is not a consideration and good service may be defined as not having to wait in line too long.

At the upper end of the scale, however, every one of the five senses come into play:

*The room should be easy on the eyes, the lighting just right. The look of the food on the plate should be carefully considered and inviting. At home, we consider the color combination of the entree and sides almost (but not quite) as carefully their preparation.

*The design of the room should serve to dampen noise - that is, unless the establishment is going for that urban "buzz" thing, not my favorite but valid nonetheless. If there's background music, it should be in the background. We prefer classical or light jazz. And you shouldn't have to listen to dishes clattering or unnecessary jabber from your server.

"Hi. My name is Phil and I'll be your best friend for the night." NOT.

And yes, there's sound associated with the with food itself. Words like sizzle and crunch come to mind.

*The sense of touch may be the least considered of the five senses when it comes to fine dining but is an important component of a well-rounded experience. The feel of the linens, the weight and balance of the silver, the way the wine glass fits in your hand...very important to the more decadent among us.

*That a restaurant should not assault you with extraneous smells and that the food that it serves should be invitingly aromatic goes without saying. I said it anyway.

*Same goes for taste. Doubled.

So, when I review a restaurant, cafe, joint, or hole in the wall, understand that it's all about the food and then builds from there.

Final notes: I never identify myself as a reviewer before dining in a restaurant for the first time and I always pay for the meal that I review.